he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
