I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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