Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
These tits shall not be calmed
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
