It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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