do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
