She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
