This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i out mim tonsoeep
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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