Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
