I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
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I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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