i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
