please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
