You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
