I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
