I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
