Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
