I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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