Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
