what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
