I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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