It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
