Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
