Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
