Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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