he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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