Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
