remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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