Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
