just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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