Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she smelled like a LAN party
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
