i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
