he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.