what if I'm pregnant?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.