I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.