I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.