if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
