she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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