I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
