you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
