he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
