Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
