dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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