yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize