Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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