There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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