i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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