you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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