you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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