dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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