i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
