i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize