Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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