I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
