why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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