she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
