i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize