I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
