life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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