Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You ate ashes out of my bong
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
