I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
