All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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