i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
