Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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