my vag is so smooth its legendary
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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