Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
