Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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