I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
